Proccurring THINGS!

As I've mentioned before, I have a fairly intense love of stuff...so intense in fact that in the majority of my homes many people find it quite difficult to move around without colliding with some sort of junk. Scarves fall off the walls and onto people's heads, precariously balanced tchotchkes crash to the floor sometimes shattering into several pieces (along with my heart) and my couches and beds are typically rendered all but unsitable by a plethora of throw pillows. This is the way I LOVE to live! Cluttered, cramped and joyfully inundated by my THINGS! Consumerism is no laughing matter, certainly, but when my consumptive urges give me the hypocrite jitters, I can usually comfort myself with the thought that the majority of these marvelous things came to me by way of thrift stores well stocked with the contents of elderly women's homes (all the better since they're another of my favourites!) and that if I didn't invite to come to live with me in my cramped little caves, they'd end up in a landfill somewhere and that somehow I'm being environmentally friendly...right?

With only 100 lbs of luggage to work with when packing to come to Korea (Damn you Air Canada, WHY? WHY!? I'm not going to freaking Cancun for a WEEK, I'm moving to Korea FOR A YEAR!!! A WHOLE YEAR PEOPLE! I need more than a bikini and a prayer...ridiculous.), I was beside myself at the thought of being separated from my precious THINGS for an entire year and forced to live in a bare shelved and walled prison for an entire year...basically, I was left weeping in the corner thinking of my life without all of my Mother Mary figurines, tiki mugs, porcelain owls and novelty salt and pepper shakers...*tear*. My family ended up taking pity on my pathetisad, tearful self and coughed up the extra THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS (WHAT?!) so that I could have something closer to 200lbs of luggage, but all the same, when all was said and done and the absurd drama of packing finally ended (seriously people, my grandparents officially didn't have a living room for the better part of a week... it became an impassable sea of mismatched garments all waiting in limbo to find out their packing fate...gold pants, tutu and inca print body suit, my apologies for your exile) I really didn't have room for any beloved THINGS that couldn't be draped on my body in a clothes like fashion. While this did mean that I managed to bring a fairly absurd number of scarves, it also meant that I wasn't able to squeeze in anything larger or heavier than the lovely "We Love You!" banner E.Stan made to cheer me up when I get lonely here (thanks lady! It's already come in handy a few times!) and the very most beloved of my knick-knacks, the one, the only the fabulous mister Dancaturtle! I guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

When we got to our apartment that first night, it seemed so big and empty and devoid of anything even resembling a piece of flare that I could have just cried! It's a pretty big apartment in comparison to some of the other closets I've hear of other teachers living in, and while any rational person would have celebrated this fact, I just couldn't see this empty expanse in a positive light with the thought that I'd never be able to fill it up with a bunch of junk! Even though I'd accepted that, as a large lovely lady, I'd have quite the time finding garments to fit my voluptuous frame here in the land of South Korea, and that if I had any intention of looking presentable outside of the house, I'd have to deal with a less than ornate interior, I still couldn't help feeling a bit downhearted at the thought of living for a whole year without THINGS flying off of shelves and into my eyes, onto my head,into the toilet, under the kitchen sink and or behind the couch. I felt so...barren.

For the first couple of weeks, things didn't improve all that much. I mean, I was making do just fine...I suppose... Within the first couple of days I'd hung up my banner and filled our bedroom walls with my absurd number of scarves, necklaces and earrings...and we'd even purchased a clock and a coat rack, but they just didn't have any personality and the place still looked...blah...Unlike every dwelling I've ever occupied, the living room just seemed...too expansive. In short, the place was really lacking in the highly necessary clutter department. Very unlike any of my previous habitats indeed. And then it happened. Some of the other teachers started to leave. They started to leave and they just didn't have the room to take along all of their THINGS!

First we found THE BEST porcelain elephant plant holder in the garbage one Sunday afternoon while on our way to recovering by way of soft pretzel from a long night of Soju. I couldn't lift it in my less than prime state, but Bryan happily carted it upstairs in hopes that I'd finally stop whining about the lack of clutter. We're not super clear on whether or not it belonged to one of the other teachers, but we'll just go with that theory for fun, shall we? When the (extremely lovely, kind and sweet!) teacher Bryan has replaced was packing, she was kind enough to give us quite a large selection of her unwanted possessions. In addition to some super soft blankets, we also got a rather large cooking pot (difficult to come by as far as we can tell so far), a little book shelf for Bryan's non-existent books, three beautiful house plants and a super sweet oversized chair complete with wooden arm rests that are perfect for holding both books and drinks. I am in love! As much as I hate to loose friends, this chair really has "cushioned" the blow (hahahahahahaha...so so clever...*shakes head at self*)In any case, the place really is starting to look a little bit more clutterful...in other words, like home.